ON RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIAGE

              

 All of us are a product of our upbringing. The environment in which we grew determines how we view the world. We all need to be loved and from childhood we have had people around us who were responsible for our growing up, going to school, providing care, shelter, clothing, food and security. The people I am talking about here could be ones father and mother, relatives, foster fathers and mothers, children home's parents or even in the case of street families, the people who provide all or some of the things I have mentioned above. Therfore, the way one grew up influences not only how one views the word but also how one relates to those he/she interacts with in later stages of life.                    

      Some of us are considered to be loud mouthed, unappreciative, pompous, proud, withdrawn, abrasive, rude, uncompromising, unloving, disorganised and many other  worldly tag categorizations available in the vocabulary that our society has gathered over the years. But is it fair to jugde those others and place tags on them? Should we demand for apprecaition from those we help? Should we do things expecting to be recognized? Should we withhold further help from somebody because s/he did not appreciate or did not say thank you? The bible has numerous examples of men and women who served other without expecting anything back. My favourite example is the Apostle of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles who was also considered to be a bad man even by some people living now that He destroyed Religion-Paul. Paul wrote to the Colosians reminding them of the solemn duty of evrey  Christian- to love no matter what the distance may be. He wrote to some who had not even met him in person but the love of Jesus Christ welling in him overflowed to them.

2 For I want you to know what a great conflict I have for you and those in Laodicea, and for as many as have not seen my face in the flesh, ² that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and^[a] of Christ, ³ in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
           In the foregoing verses, Paul talks of that distance between him and the people he had mistered to. What was holding them together was not their own love but the love that was emanating from God through Jesus Christ. I  have heard people on TV and Radio shows who discuss about various topics like the one on K24.  It should be remembered  most of what people say are but opinions rehearsed  before  they go on air and they speak not from their experience but from what they have read from books.
     Distance relationships are very delicate and challenging. What is needed is God. When alone, one is always tempted to do what he/she wants  but what helps such a fellow is not the   love for the spouse but  God's love over him/her. He/ she focuses on Jesus Christ at Calvary and out of trouble he goes. God is so merciful that He does not treat us as our sins deserve. It is Him who does not lead  us into temptation but delivers us from evil as we always pray. It is not our strength or understanding or craftiness, it is not our ability or power like that of the American made-believe superman movie hero. Our daily duty is read His word, hide it in our hearts and apply it in our daily lives so as to get connected to our Head who is Jesus Christ. When connecetd to Him, we cannot be deceived by any persuassive words even if we are far apart separated by distance. Here are Paul's words;

⁴ Now this I say lest anyone should deceive you with persuasive words. ⁵ For though I am absent in the flesh, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ.
⁶ As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, ⁷ rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it^[b] with thanksgiving.
          There are many philosphies as there are many marriage philosophers on this earth. There are very many books on marriage at the moment than there were during the days of our parents. Our fathers never had an opportunity of even going to school to acquire the skill of reading but their marriages stood. There was no divorce in the African societies. If a man or woman cheated on the spouse, this was hundled amicably and there was no divorce. Women used to run away from an abusive husband but she still considered herself married to the father of the children. If she got married elsewhere, she could be brought back if the man changed for good and preference was given to the first husband. If she did not want to go back, she still stayed in her second marriage but she still had the liberty to go back to her first marriage.
         There was poligamy yes, but this was functional and not selfish as people look at it. There were many reasons for this. Men among the Kalenjins could go away from their families for months in search of pasture for their animals and they could still come back to their wives. Our problem is that we have drunk intoxicating venom from the western thought patterns and have left our own traditions calling them sin or even devilish. Paul warns the Colosians in the following words:
⁸ Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. ⁹ For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; ¹⁰ and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.
Now, since we have Jesus Living in Us and we are walking in Him. We have to live according to him. As one lives  away  from his/her spouse, s/he should know that it's nolonger him that lives but Christ living in him. It is Christ who empowers  Christians to live by His word and to Obey His law of loving one another John 13: 34-35. I know would like to share with you what I got from www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/everydaylight/ of
September 6

Our Three Primary Needs
For reading & meditation - Colossians 2:1-10
"... in Him you have been made complete ..." (v. 10, NASB)

The first principle we must learn if we are to recover from the brokenness caused by troubles in the home is: Depend on God, and not on anyone else, to meet the deepest needs of your personality. Allow this truth to take hold of your innermost being and you will become a transformed person. The most basic needs of our personality are these: (1) the need to be loved unconditionally (security); (2) the need to be valued (self-worth), and (3) the need to make a meaningful contribution to God's world (significance). Human beings can only function effectively to the degree that these needs are met. If they are unsatisfied, our ability to function as a person is greatly hindered; if they are adequately met, then, other things being equal, we have the potential of functioning effectively. Notice, however, this important point - our needs for security, significance, and self-worth can be fully met only in a close and ongoing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. If we do not let Christ meet those needs, then because they have to be met in order for us to function effectively, we will attempt to get them met in and through others. Although many do not realize it, this is what draws many people toward marriage, because they see the possibility of having their needs met through their partner. But no human being, however loving, kind, and considerate they may be, can fully meet these needs. I say again: they can be met fully only in a close and ongoing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Prayer: Father, I sense that I am on the verge of something big and challenging. Help me to grasp this, for I sense that if I do, I shall become a transformed person. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study Ephesians 1
1.Where is Christ?
 2. Where are we?

 

Going back to the Fundmentals of the Gospel of Grace

       Today I have been thinking about Gods goodness to us although we have been unfaithful. As Church leaders we have abdicated our mandate as recorded in Ephesians 4:11-16 where the Apostle Paul wrote that;  11 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers,  Most church leaders have fashioned for themselves statuses like the Hindu caste system where people are treated as their class dictates. Some have called themselves Apostles. If they are addressed and the title Apostle so and so is not included, they get offended. The question is; Does the word apostle mean a title, an office or a calling.  the Greek word from which the word Apostle is derived apostolos (ἀπόστολος, ου, ὁ) is a Noun, Masculine meaning ; a messenger, an envoy, a delegate, one commissioned by another to represent him in some way. Originally this referred to the men sent out by Jesus Christ Himself to preach the Gospel. So, the only people befitting to be called apostles without fear of any contradiction are the twelve disciples of Jesus. Their number remained to be 12 because after the death and departure of Judas Iscariot, Mathias was elected to replace him Acts 1:12-26.  Apart from these twelve, no one should ever claim to be an apostle and the word does not even mean a title or office.
       One may ask; if the word apostle refers only to the twelve, why does Paul call himself an apostle? To answer this question, we will have to look at the meaning given above;one commissioned by another to represent him in some way. Originally this refereed to the men sent out by Jesus Christ Himself to preach the Gospel.  In our case here, Paul was commissioned by Christ Himself on his way to Damascus thus: Acts 9:5
Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.^[a] It is hard for you to kick against the goads.”
⁶ So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?”
Then the Lord said to him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”  And from here Saul became Paul and was sent to the Gentiles while the twelve were sent to the children of Israel. God is a God of order and a master strategic planner who planned all these before the creation of the earth and all that is in it. It is my sincere belief that at the moment, we have neither Apostles nor Prophets because the work of these two is perfectly done, completed and embodied in the scriptures. If we want to know and hear from them, we just go to the Bible. 
        Now back to the fundamentals, the work of pastors, teachers and evangelists, is in Ephesians 4: 12-14 to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  None of us is doing this. We may be busy organizing annual conferences and seminars in big five star hotels or even at universities in many parts of the world. But the sinners who Christ died for, are not found in hotels but here ;

 

        At the moment many pastors are keeping quiet and there is none of us who can speak to our political leaders and tell them what the Lord is saying. In fact many pastor in Eldoret and other cities are playing partisan politics. In last few weeks Christiano leaders in Eldoret asked members of their flock to demonstrate "peacefully" and "pray against the Tsunami" . Indeed many faithful members went and did this. WE HAVE ALL BECOME LIKE THE POLITICIANS BECAUSE WE HAVE EVEN STARTED PRAYING IN THEIR STYLE. We do not ask ourselves what the cause of disunity is instead we assume that a certain group is wrong and the other is right. Among the members of the flock we have people who are members of the opposition and our prayers can stop them from thinking otherwise. If you keenly listen to the so called the Bottom line by KTN( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTNQC_LYb2s) you will here most people speaking with bitterness and there is no sign of reconciliation.

      Another mandate given to the pastors and church leaders is to teach and preach the whole gospel of Christ so that the flock will grow and in Paul's words;  Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.  We all are in a blame game, blaming politicians, politicians blaming the common citizens for making "wrong" choices and the Government blaming the opposition and the west for all the problems affecting our country. We have forgotten what the Apostle Paul said in Ephesians that only if we speak the truth in love, shall we grow up to maturity. I am sure most of our youths are easily beguiled by false teachers of religion who take them captive by teaching them false religion that tells them to kill because it is a religious duty. Those taking part in Terror groups like the Al shabaab are not true Muslims but disgruntled youth who do not have jobs and are misled. Paul admonishes us saying;  

15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
         Unfortunately, the church has left its responsibility of preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ and the ministers are instead building Kingdoms here on earth. Go to every city in Kenya and take a sample of where pastors live, where they belong as club members, who they associate with and where they shop. You will understand what I am talking about. In very few churches shall we find the gospel being preached because everybody holding a bible and can read and speak some English and Kiswahili is a pastor.  We should go back to the fundamentals of the gospel of Grace. Let us not build Kingdoms here but build the body of Jesus Christ for that is our duty and calling. Not buying big cars and building cathedrals and holding conferneces in hotels. When Christ Shall come, shall He find Faith?

Is it sin for girls to shave their hair in school?.

       I believe that the Bible teaches us to obey authority and schools have their own rules which are not against the teaching of the Bible. First, it is usual according to many of African cultures to keep our hair short clean. Girls among the Maasai, Kuria, Luhya, Abagusii, Agikuyu and even the Miji Kenda, keep short hair. So we are first Africans then religion comes in. So it is wise for these parents to understand that African beauty included short hair for girls- look at Lupita Nyongo and even the Late Miriam Makeba.


       Secondly, anybody who has been in the Kenya school system understands that it is not easy to take care of hair while in school. Students need at least 30-45 minutes to clean and comb their hair. So a girl would take approximately 1:30 minutes to prepare every morning. While she would be doing all these girls with short hair take only 15 minutes to prepare and start the morning prep. I have taught in girls schools and I have seen this many a time. 
        Thirdly, what the Apostle Paul is speaking about here, is about the believers' faith and practice in worship and the passage specifically concerns married women and their husbands. Our girls in schools are not married. The Greek word used in I Cor 11:13-23 is gunaikos which means woman as in a married woman. The word Korë is what would refer to a girl or maiden. Therefore we can conclude that long hair is a sign of beauty for the married women's husbands not for everybody. That is why they were required to cover their heads.So when we look at the Pictures below which would be considered to be siutable signs of humilty in worship?


      

        Fourthly if a woman has no hair on her head then it was a 'shame' but not a sin and this was according to the prevailing culture of the Corinthians. So shaving of hair is not sin. Among the African communities, shaving hair signified morning or undergoing some rite of passage. Those cultures that practice circumcision, require the young boys to shave their hair before graduating and on the day they come out of seclusion  they are deemed smart if they have clean heads. So the parents should interpret our culture in the light of scripture. It is not sin for girls to shave their hair neither is it compromising the gospel.

Leadership Training at Wareng High school Kenya.

The video here was part of the experimentation of the MODEL FOR THE INTEGRATION OF LANGUAGE & LEADERSHIP LEARNING STRATEGIES THROUGH TEXTUAL MATERIALS AND AUDIO-VISUAL MEDIA FOR COMMUNICATIVE COMPETENCY AND TRANSFORMATIONAL SERVANT LEADERSHIP FOR STUDENTS IN SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN KENYA. This is my dissertation and was assisted by pastor Elly Kigunyi who was working with Scripture Union of Kenya. Please pray for us so that we shall roll this programme in the whole of Kenya to see a change in our schools.

 Many trainings that take place in our schools are superficial and "fire fighting" attempts to solve the problems of leadership in our schools in Kenya. I will upload the whole research report after being approved and validated soon. God bless you. Ideas and suggestions are welcome.   The prefects who took part in this project please keep in touch and may God bless you.

I read A posting one social media and as much as I have agreed with what the posts and their intentions are, I disagree with the letter and the spirit of this particular one  The Qur’an and Science: Do They Agree?

Whether the Holy Qur'an and science agree is not the reason why the Muslims believe and obey the Qur'an. The Muslims are Muslims because of what they have truly experienced Spritually in their lives and if one individual finds disagreements between the Qur'an and science then that is his own opinion.  I say this because if the Qur'an was not what it claims to be, then the Muslims who still believe in would have left long time ago. All the books we call Holy scriptures have a spiritual dimension and that cannot be wished away.

The guy who found that the Qur’an and science give two very different descriptions of the earth found what he wanted to see and that does not make the Qur'an fallible or Fake. The Holy Qur'an is still Holy to the Muslims and its contributions to the shaping of mankind's history on this earth is vital and significant. All Holy Scriptures believed by the major world Religions have a spiritual dimension and they have a spiritual impact on the world;s affairs.

The Quran can never and should never be compared to the Bible to make it infallible.If the Prophet Mohamed and his followers received the revelation in whatsoever way, should not be the subject of discussion because matters of Spirituality are very personal. Personally I am christian and my personal relationship with God is through Jesus Christ and my salvation cannot be described scientifically. Does this make the Bible fallible? No not at all! Jesus walked on water-  is this true? Yes it is. Is it scientifically proven? No but the fact is, Jesus walked on water. Read on

Matthew 14:22-33

²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
²⁹ “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

The passage above has met a lot of opposition from anti-christian scientists but that does not make the bible fake nor fallible. It still remains the word of God.

When the Qur’an 2:261 reports that every ear of corn has 100 grains to me I read a figure of speech in this because even the Figurative aspect of the metaphor, simile and allegory are Semitic and have their Origin in Arabic-Hebraic traditions and folklore. The bible abounds with these sort of figures where Salomon is said to have had 700 wives and 300 concubines, this does not mean that you could take a census of Solomon's wives and confirmed that they were actually 1000, this just means they were numerous. Look at the issue of forgiving your brother like in the passage below:

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.^[a]
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold^[b] was brought to him. ²⁵ Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

²⁶ “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ ²⁷ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

What Jesus was teaching here was not to keep a record of how many times you forgive your brother but forgiveness is unlimited. God forgives us many times-uncountable times.

The use of figures or numbers in Hebraic and Arabic folklore cannot be tied to one mathematical meaning and cannot therefore be proven scientifically. The use of 100 fold is used also in the Bible and it does not mean just 100 but many.This cannot in anyway make the Holy Qur'an false. It should be remembered that both the Bible and the Qur'an attest to the existence of a Supreme Being who cannot be described by human words and this truth is engraved in the Christians' and Muslim's hearts and that truth and reality can NEVER be invalidated by any science or any philosophy.

Scientific accuracy of the Qur’an and whether the Qur’an is really addressing scientific issues is not an issue and is out rightly far removed and is a fallacy because Neither the Qur'an nor the Bible addresses scientific issues. Scientific issues are addressed by scientific books and science is subject to the Holy books and not the reverse. Science should be evaluated in the light of the Holy scriptures because science is fallible and based on man's discovery of what The Lord God Jehovah had created by His Word.

So I would advice all those who want to find out about what a religion stands for, do so with an open mind but tests the spirits 1John 4:1 says Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Prescriptive vs Descriptive grammar
As we look at the use of language, we should specifically stick to descriptive grammar because prescriptive grammar based on a set of rules about how people especially those who think they own a language- or so called native speakers-think language should be used. In a prescriptive grammar there is right and wrong language,where the right use of language depends on the standards set by a group of individuals who feel offended when others speak a language without following the proper grammar. A good example is when a Kenyan may use a sentence like-Ng'ombe itakayoingia zizini itakamwa ( or kamuliwa) maziwa. For the users of Kiswahili, the message has already been conveyed although the sentence is grammatically wrong. The correct sentence would be Ngombe atakayeingia zizini atakamwa maziwa.

  If we say that the first sentence is wrong, because the noun ng'ombe should be in A-Wa (Ngeli)class( M-WA for the analog generation like me) we are becoming prescriptive Kiswahili grammarians and this is prejudice. For speakers whose L1( First language) is Luo or Luhya or Gikuyu, it is normal to call any animal with the neuter personal pronoun it which translates to i kiwakilishi cha nafsi  katika ngeli ya i-zi (for the analog generation we used to call this class Ngeli ya N ). We become prescriptive if we demand that the people who use a particular language as their L2( second language) should use it the way we want them to use it and according to the standards that  we have set.

However, on the other hand we should be gracious to users of a second language by encouraging communicative language use. Here is where a descriptive grammar, which is a set of rules based on how language is actually used comes in. The American rejected prescriptive grammar by writing their own Dictionary and developing their own English.

WHAT IT MEANS WHEN WE SAY ALL ARE EQUAL

Brother Faraja,

I write not as a response to the attachment but to the idea you're proposing in these line of thought that "All human beings are equal except our beliefs, tribes and thinking, which are always accidents and never the essences of our humanity. We acquire them after getting out of the wombs of our mothers".

I am responding to this particular thought because I saw that you are a colleague in the area of languages hence you must know that what we write here influences the thinking patterns of may especially those who do not take to cross check the facts.

Our beliefs.

You first statement that All Humans are Equal is correct and true but to say that our our beliefs are not equal, is a little bit dangerous because this might mean that other people's beliefs are inferior to others. In my understanding, all beliefs are equal because they are beliefs that emanate from a people's world view as a community evolves and adapts to their ways of life. A people's world view is the sum total of how they have seen life from their own perspectives as it is revealed to them by God through creation represented by nature. The American Indians, the Incas of the Amazon, the Masai of Kenya and Tanzania, the Zandawe of Tanzania and the Khoisaan of the Southern part of Africa have their beliefs that have been formed and informed by what God HAS ALLOWED THEM TO KNOW AND THESE BELIEFS ARE IN NO WAY SUPERIOR OR INFERIOR TO THOSE OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD.

Tribes

Once again I would like to point out that this word tribe carries with it very derogatory implications when used to refer to the peoples of Africa or Asia. The European scholars of sociology and Anthropology use this term to refer to those communities perceived to be uncivilized or backward. The term has no significance at all. We better use the term community, people, Ethnic community but not tribe. We know we have many communities in Africa who speak different languages and have different Cultures which give us identity, so we not tribes we are communities. My problem here first is when you say that all human beings are equal except our tribes. What do you mean here? Do you mean that all communities are Equal? What equality are you talking about here? Wealth, height,population, or what?I refer you to Okot p'Bitek's African Religions in the Western Scholarship where a whole chapter discusses this issue. I

Thinking

You need to clarify what you mean by saying that our thinking is not equal. I thought all human beings collectively taken think. As a community and a people the thinking of Africans is equal to the thinking of European but different. The European or Asian thinking is never superior to any other. I Hope what you meant here is that we do not think the same. We all think differently but our thinking is equal and that is why we have in many countries, a freedom of speech and expression entrenched in the constitution.

Which are always accidents.

the three above, beliefs, "tribe" and thinking, you incorrectly brand them "Are always accidents"as a linguist I hope you know what what you mean when you put a phrase in the present simple. How do you conclude that these are accidents? As a Christian I do not believe that it was an accident to be born in Kenyan Acts 17:26,says that From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. Read from your angle of thought, it is evident that you are happy with being born in Tanzania. You seem to feel inferior because it was by accident that you were born black or white. There are no accidents with God because nothing gives Him a surprise.

Never the essences of our humanity.

This statement is also not correct because without beliefs and thinking, I do not see the purpose of life on earth. Humanity is what it because of the same things you are abrogating.I think that the way we think, the sets of our belief systems and the Communities in which we are born make us who we are and give us the identity and existence. Please revise the statement looking at each word semantically.

Thanks.

Paul